Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
