thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
