How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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