I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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