just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We got so high we made milksteak
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
