After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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