im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
