i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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