Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
