I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
