He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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