Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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