i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
