I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
