now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
