we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
