just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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