He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
