So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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