fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
