Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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