remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
