just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
