why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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