he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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