I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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