Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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