it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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