Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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