Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
