tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
