talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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