This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
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This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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