i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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