Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize