With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
