Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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