Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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