she was so not down for the gang bang
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
