Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
