still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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