Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
