I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just high enough for therapy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
