I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
