You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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