I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You ruined the universe
Randomize
