Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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