how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She's the barista slut.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
