What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
