Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
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Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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