I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
