The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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