Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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