we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
