STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize