just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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