Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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