guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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