And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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