He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
