Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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