my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We need to rekindle our bromance
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
