I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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